I found the Vortex on Maui. Liberally speaking there are a few spots on the globe where these vortex's reside. I knew of three. Sedona, Arizona. Lourdes France and Maui. Prior and during my lessons in grief, occasion brought me to Sedona, Az.. I met my brother at the tiny airport. I walked vibrating hills with my dad and mom and I found out a mommy died on Mothers Day, my boyfriends. I also flew in a topless plane like snoopy and giggled with gasping at the ground! Most importantly, or more collectively, I came upon a hummingbird that would nurture me to this day..my sister Linda in Heaven picked it out....so on I went. Looking for the others. France, Id been to certain parts and adored the land but the chance of getting back, well...slim to none. Maui, well....Maui....I found the vortex on Maui. Now I don't want to be hmmm whats that word.....grabby or greedy or clingy but Maui's mine. By this I mean wherever your feet take you on this globe, when your eyes are open a path pops up and my path popped up on Maui. On the back roads. On the gorgeous roads. On the scary roads. On the dangerous roads. On the soothing roads...breathaking roads. You get my point...it wasn't just the walking tho...the driving, the flying, the riding, the viewing, the cruising, the sailing, they all played a role. I've cruised fabulous roads in all kine condition. During storms and fires and fear. I've traveled those Maui roads with friends and lovers and parents. I slept alone in the dark, I've wandered this grove and that grave and I've melted on the beaches north east west and south. I found a hole in the sky. Way up high in the sky. It was raining and chilly and I had just emerged from the soft sweet book reading with Indians Chiefs my guides. The author, a bubbly ole bloke chanted and ranted about his curious life with such awe he pulled me in. He'd spent forty days and forty nights retracing Jesus's'  path. The one in the desert. He walked all over the earth visiting "Gods Chosen" asking them what made them happy. He was so captivating I would later introduce him to my sister and buy his book for all...he signed every one special. But I digress.... back to the parking lot! The parking lot! Is this where most transitions take place. Dark, black, scary and starry the sky was in between the wicked clouds that would soon become my calling friends and they were calling! There they were....peeking down from a Pukalani...a hole in the sky. There they were. calling me up...Indian music chanted. The graveyard call for playing. The Moon was nowhere to be found playing hide and seek with my new friends. There it was. Then the wind whooshed it away. There it was. Then gone again. Back again and all I could do was stare. Stare with tears of wonderment crisscrossing with the wiping window blade adding natural acoustic to the tune. The timing. The ouch of life, the tenderness oozed out of heaven and leaked down on Maui once again. It happens there that nature and now merge. It happens there a lot and tho I am too far to hear the winds call me higher any longer, I can close my eyes and know it all. This particular night I drove down the mountain slow. Purposely. I wanted to take every nuance in.  With my wheels back on the turf of my drive and under a whole new sky as Kihei is another world away from Makawa weather yet only miles in reality....I was the same yet different. This vortex pulls you in and whirls you around in a profound state leaving one lost in possibilities, From the coast, from my balcony Haleakala called me nightly. In good times and bad, thick times and thin, strong times and weak. Time teaches us what we need to know and time transmute during the minutes of your day so watch for it. Watch for this vortex that pulls your energy and allow it to elevate your soul.  From my yard, the tree of life, my Mango tree nurtured me and the hummingbird that hung there hangs here now....still the shore calls us all....................

Dear Darlings

Dear Darlings,

Thank you. As I reflect on all the men I've loved my heart, soul, and body merge. Wasn't that the idea? To come together? To be as one? For most of us that was the intent and delivery. I mean from each of you I took a part of all three; I took your body. I took your soul. I took a piece of your heart.  I know you all sampled my gifts. My heart was my most offered present available always. Do you still feel it? Even a piece of it? I hope so. Then I will live on in love...

I feel blessed to have had you. To have held you in my wanting arms. To have craved you. To have consumed you. To have smiled with you. To have laughed with you. If there are blessings in tears then I too am a billion blessed for there were many tears I have tasted for you all. I have lived and I have loved. I have laughed and I have cried. Mostly, I have cared. Tonight, I sit alone vacated from surroundings of man and I am broken. Challenges of great depth have been explored by us all.  My part in the demise or destruction of us has been thought through. No regret on either side is necessary. I just thank. I just thank you. I just thank you.

April

April 

showers bring May flowers...and before you know it summers here. In the spirit of slowing this crazy world down I'm going to pause a bit longer on this last day of April to take it all in. March and April are to me like the Atlantic shore. Taking all the hard knocks it can during this slight phase of  harsh reality that brings us all something new. Ahh April. A wild ride. The East Coast knows it better than most. Especially, right now.

     I have always had a lovely longing for the Northeast even long before I was introduce to its Thoroughbreds.  The stallions of the east stand strong and the colors of their pride is our color too. We all stand strong in the spring. The winds of change beckon us to and so we do. The choice is not always ours but yet it is, universally speaking. Anyway, May is almost here. The springtime of our year is here. Still. For one more brief respite longer called May. 1 2 3 4. May is coming with joy galore! Three cheers for this! This reminds me of my moniker.  My four daughters have always brought to me more joy than the average mama bear could possibly know and still this carries on. Their initials laid out serendipitously  say Artistically Kreated Just for Love. Amber, Kristin, Jamie & Leslie! Ahh April. Love is in the air....

     Spring would not be spring without the the great aid of the Jacaranda Tree. One of the best things about late spring is that this tree is just about to go off. We've been watching, those that do, the blossoms and leaves stretch out and yet the greatest show on earth is yet to come. The treetops are in bloom. The buds are poking out en mass and on some streets, those particularly named Jacaranda, the whole block is about to explode in color. The loveliest shade of purple I've ever known in a tree, the Jacaranda. One block over from me the trees are stately grand and quite mature. They touch on top. It's going to be magnificent soon, when they bloom in full.  I walk by on my way to work with anticipation heightened for all the little purple flowers of which there is a plethora. From ripe grapefruits, lemon and limes to bumblebees and spiders in bulbs  spring is sprung! When natures color comes to you in hues beyond belief....all seems well with the world...all seems well with me & I wish the same for you.  May all be well. 

     

March

     March is my birthday month. I've always liked falling into the flow of life and I think it may be, in part, because of this lovely month. March. It has a rythum of it's own. A beat. Three beats. Ready; that's January, Get set; that's February, and GO;...dadaaa March. Readysetgo!...It seems to be the time of year to take off like a little birdy in a nest. Time to look over the edge of the safely harbored twigs of life and contemplate the leap. It's just occured to me that every bird must parachute...whether they want to or not. A bird has no choice but too! No choice at all. To parachute freaks me out. My little Grandaughters nicname is turning out to be sweet birdy and I can clearly see why! One day she will fly. Her parachute will soar. I'll be watching.

     Age creeps up on us like the wind. I get thrown through the sky a lot. The blue sky and the black sky equally embrace me. I've taken lots and lots of steps up the graced and laced stairway to heaven. Should I stop counting. No. I shant. Each step, each year, each day, minuute, hour, nuiance of existence that's in the air is life given to me.  I try to stay cozy within myself. I've made peace with my soul. 57 years of climbing up the "Chutes & Ladders" is exhilerating. I'm exhilerated. Today that exhileration is heightened...once again. I hope fun finds me this year. More Fun! Starting today!

     My God gave me a load of presents already but none better than my four girls & their kids. The joy and love I recieve from them is clearly the fuel that fires me up. Star lights that keep my light bright. Like a lighthouse...they beckon me and I them. Look up look down look all around. Love and Light are near. Happy Dayz!

Love

What a wonderful theme this month carrys. I'm reminded of the little cherub who guides the arrow of love ever so pogninently focused before, wham...he lets loose! I wonder how often he lifts his arm in pursuit. I wonder how his aim is and if he landed his shot. The whole month for me has been an expansion of his continued energy. I have been feeling love all month and well before the traditional 14th. It seems the air about me is full of it! Love. What a lovely guiding force it is. It is so pronounced this very month. We feel the electricity of it all. We even feel the color alive in the form of pink. At least I do. All nature and nurturing feel alive and celebrated right now. I hope the days and weeks of the next month and the next continue to vibrate love. When love is present, anything and everything seem possible. Most of all hope. For hope does spring eternal, as the old adage goes....every year it does it again and again without fail.... The calender turns with love. From the New Beginning of January that lay behind the force of love to the last day of the love month of February and into new awaking of spring sprouting up all around...we are surrounded by love. May it continue for me and mine. May it continue for you and yours...all year long & evermore.~

New Beginnings

New Beginnings

     It's that time again. That time of new beginnings. Of course we have 365 new beginnings each year but for the whole month of January, I presume for all or most, or some, ok maybe a few, a throbbing consisits that lets us know this loud and clear. A dialouge that says something like..."Come on now...you can do this. Look at so and so and so and so and so and so and so and all the changes the world has made. You too can make a few!" This verse, in some capacity settles in my bones consistently this month. It is a month with good bones, I'll tell ya that. Some of the best people I know came to me in this month. Strong, vibrant, beautiful daughters and lighthearted tender grandsons and kind girlfriends all of whom inspire me daily. I set out with new eyes and new hope and new attitude which is everything! I've already fallen short of perfection but who cares...certainly not me. Perfection is an illusion I've decided, set out consume the perfect.

     Goals, oh my! I have many. I swear again to try. Some wiz by me dropping apps and awards and spectacular feats. I stand on my hill and applaud. I strive. I thrive. I smile. I try. With a turtles pace I move. This year I pray it's different. I pray time nudges me along a bit different with a greater purpose. A new pace. A new place. A new space. A new beginning. A new awareness. A new desire. Anew.

     I wish you all a fun time on your beginnings. Or endings. Or middle grounds. I wish you all know how valuable you are. On any timetable. As a long day lingers and hours fly bye somewhere in there is you and life. I hope you merge. This year, I will inspire myself to a higher standard and hope it floats your way. Back to you from where my inspiration came. I may not always succeed but know I'm out and about trying. Peace be to yours as to mine.

Tonga Mass was a Memorial

Tonga Memorials, at least this one which clearly was special lasted days. Days on end the singing continued as did the bbq. The people streamed in from all over and by all over I mean off the map...off the local map. Off the grid. In fact, truth be told I got to share in it by sheer opportunity of being in the right place at the right time. Wow...Again I feel lucky in the face of loss. Unexplainable, I know & agree. This time the loss settled in the home across the street. A man made church was erected on the front lawn with all the pomp and circumstance of the Tongan culture. The elder passed on 12/26. They put him to rest like a king. Like the king he was internally. I knew he was a king without being told .I knew it when his spirit soared invisibly above me and he gleaned with delight at the gathering. .He even visited me in my yard which made sense to me as his "sons" had climbed my trees to groom them on multiple occasion. I was amazed at what he showed me. A petrified gecko embedded in my dying, no dead, palm tree poised himself like the victim of volcanic lava...petrified in black for evermore.I NEVER would have seen this had his spirit not arrived in the middle of my anguished battle with the earth. See, I hastily and with great fervor was pounding the rock hard dirt of my woebegone land...he came to calm my restless angry ghost. He did it magically and I was/am in awe of him. No wonder he is so greatly revered forevermore. Black & purple drape adorned the makeshift church. The matted straw bedding, the costumes, the kids, the tutus, the pain, strength and by strength I mean amazing  grace strength . It permeated into the street. Tongan people are very strong and robust.. Happy by nature. The electric sockets full, the cars impacting, the food nurturing...ahh the music so bitter sweetly arrested my soul that I surrendered over and over again to the captivating front stoop on my home. There many moments of partaking in the mass without invite occurred, respectfully knowing I was welcome from afar. How could I not be. They were calling me..us. In passing I met the granddaughter of this tribesman who so gracefully passed from golden age and we hugged still not knowing names. Well, not specifically...we knew not name but we knew the word neighbor & so we hugged with understanding. I was witness to a mass I shall never forget. In peace and in passing....so be it.