Charles

     My Grandson Charles truly becomes more of a miracle by the day.  My miracle. As I have mentioned to him, I so often look at him and I think, "Gees, this kid could not be any cuter!" and then he surprises me with yet another unique and adorable gesture with his smirk full smile that makes me melt like butter.  As privledged people lucky enough to walk in our grandkids lives, I take time to admire one of the worlds greatest co creation connections.  Having raised four successful daughters, Charles is the first little boy I have had the delight to encounter within the extraordinary influencing moments of life.  He is full of impish energy like me, his Granny and he does silly silly things for no one's entertainment but his own. An excellent example of this is to introduce his interest in various and miscellaneous musicality ie Weird Al Yankovich and roller coaster background music. The kids a genious! What can I say? 
     He loves all his grandparents just as an inevitable elder should, could and would, however the two that bring him constant stability, Grandma Liz and Grandpa Wafic are two successors' who have instilled comfortable security and sensability into his ever expanding core.  It is actual fun watching Charles grow. I define true bliss in two words then three. My Grandson and then All my Grandsons. I have four. I am very lucky and very blessed. What can I say?
     An awareness is being delivered to my other "Grannysons" as we speak.  A message my Charles is already getting loud and clear.  We all bring a unique set of circumstance to the family tree.  This Granny is out in the forest of life  on her own limb so to speak and yet the wisdom of Charles' sensitivity allows him the awareness to watch out for his aging Granny gracefully as he observes nature reclaim all that is.  My heart twinkles as this 9 1/2 yr. old opens doors for me, carries my packages and hauls my groceries over the hill and around the bend so to speak.  He is a really great kid. A brilliant one, in fact. What can I say? Life is in session. School is in session. Students are learning fractions. What can I say? Thank You. I can say thank you. So I do. Thank You.

Granny's Thoughts Today

I think people drop
inadvertenly and subconsiously words or names when they dont hide truth. That, I believe is a truth. People don't like, in my experience, to feel as if they are doing something wrong when they, by there own belief system, are not doing something wrong.. Their own belief system, if you will, impacts mine insomuch as I supose mine impacts theirs and therein lies my situation. I make an impacting life for myself. That's how I live. How I roll. It's who I am. Trust me, a  long time from now my energetic essence will still be radiating on a very  large scale in the most humble and divine sence. I was given an enlightened path to walk and I am doing well on the evolution of my emotional well being.The enormity of my challenge lies within guiding my jouney of  material & etherical balance to a place of equity for myself as well as all who enter, better or otherwise touch any aspect of my life.  If and as I strive to be the best me, from my perspective, I will in turn and in fact be highlighting positive examples for those who come behind me. I will most definitly error along the way. My legacy so to speak. I believe that I am responsible for all that I feel toward myself and others  and all thoughts attached to those feelings. The world I choose to co-create in is
all enclusive and works for a greater good  not just my own good. I have not always understood this and therefore acted in such a way. I'm older now and wiser still. It's been divinely ordered that I leave a labyrinth to the higher self behind in some way. My own little "follow the popcornpath. You'll get there! " theory we all seek. Feelings
 and thoughts...you can't buy them. No one can take them from you. You cant lose them. They're all yours. Take as many as you want and come back for more!! All you can do is have them and give them away. Feelings & thoughts are a gift from God. What you do with them is your gift back. So maybe if we all inch toward one another with feeling and thought in a kinder gentler way..well get to a kinder gentler world. It takes time tho. Lots of time.

Um...Hi

Fish out of water!

So...another strange thing happened the other night. My fish committed suicide. It was a beta fish. I have two. Not together of course. I know the rules. My daughter and I shared responsibility of both Fernando and Frische'.  At some point we no longer knew which was which or whom was whom. We enjoyed the task of taking care of these two beautifully colored fish.  Had it not been my turn to watch over them, I may have wondered about this demise. I was overseeing the new tank, this huge and heavy clear glass nicely shaped vase. It was full to the brim with clean treated water and all necessary steps were taken to provide the fish with all obvious needs. They had recently been fed. It was through my periferal vision I noticed a small blob on the floor in the deep of the night as I briefly awoke. Morning I still saw the form on the way to the coffee pot. I saw it as a leaf from the flowers I had recently disbursed in the same vicinity for trash day. It was 5:15am and still dark. After my third coffee my mind had busied itself with the days events. I can't imagine that I missed it but I did. When Leslie arrived home, the blob caught her eye as well only she was able to see it's true vision. "The fish is dead!" she exclaimed. We investigated further and it was true.  The fish lie there on the floor, dark black. She insisted it moved. I knew it did not but I also know the mind can play tricks so I too, looked close. It was dead. Dead dead. Equally poised we said, "We'll bury it." "Down the toilet!" I reflected. "No" she claimed, "in the lake." I know adding an oft species does damage to an ecosystem. I presumed dead would be fine. Fish food so to speak. Fish food it was. I said a prayer for it's life before and after this moment and sent it on it's way to somewhere. It's a mystery to where it truly returned. Perhaps it still is on it's way to the pond to be? Who knew. I did not. I am not in a fish head. Never have been. I'm not sure how their mind works. Any mind for that matter. Mine included.  I do know, I did want to wear, like a bumper sticker slogan across my upper stomach like a tattoo, the words Anxiety Free Zone and across my forehead I wanted a What! or Whatever!  word as I am so often surprised and then not surprised by so much in my life!  Of course that was pretend. I never got a tattoo I thought to myself as I stared into the pond. Yet. As I viewed my reflection on the water I saw birds fly past in silent delight. Three. I always see three.  The birds flying over, the fish, the fish food, big birds all of it brought me an eerie comfort. In the early morning, 4am, I heard the bird that humms from his belly. hmm, Hhmmm, Hhmmm, Hhmmm. 1 Sharp and 3 staccatos deep from his belly. You know the one lone grey pigeon dove that coos so early on. Then there's the occasional herring. The giant looking Teradactal with the wing span of 3 feet! With a whooping clap of thunderous whoosh he fly's over head and lands so graciously on his thin stem with an eagle prow-less all about him. Perhaps  food for him was found. The green grass clashes with the dense brown hue of this bird. The contrast is striking. I've caught it a bunch of times with my camera but it just never does this bird enough justice. It's graceful sleek form, gigantic in comparison to the other fowl nearby commands attention yet is as coy as can be. One night, in the wee hours, we happened upon one of these birds.  It stood it's ground with no fear of me approaching. It was on my path where the grass meets the bridge. I came upon it suddenly and whilst it held it's ground I did too, walking pass in a confident capable and calming way as if to say, "It's ok. Every thing is fine. We can fit side by side." When I passed, only then did is take to flight. Ahh, my own personal Jonathon Livingston Seagull. Usually there is a matching white one somewhere near by though I have not seen her yet on this visit. They posture to one another for hours on end. This one, my neighbor believes, is a juvenial.  She saw him divebomb and retrieve a fish! I don't mean to get preachy but I've had some real raw close minutes with death. Other duck and bird deaths, animal deaths, people deaths and also my own close calls with death.  I no longer fear it. There are factors I fear around it...just one actually- but death itself- transcending, I do not fear. I transcend death multiple moments throughout my day. That is in part why I am able to live each moment of every day in perfect harmony according with my own self. Like the pond outside my window, nature teaches me everyday the true me inside who operates from heart only, not concentric, not confusion but clearly from the heart only, knows no limits of love. To love and all its fury attached is present as is it's joy with heartache attached. So is its pain present for all to glimpse if we will but rise early and look outside!  We, me, I come to the roundness of my circle with fear heightened at each mile maker passed. One might be pressed to call this the One Fear Factor but no, it's not, tis not... as I round the bend of life I ease into the turn. Fear turned to faith. I have faith in faith. I've learned by now that fear is but an illusion made up in the space between the head and the heart. You need only blink the link apart and be the whole of the half. As you round the curves of life don't just see the road. Hear the birds. Somewhere water flows. Listen for it. The morning bird that coos all day in the No Anxiety Zone, is there. Do you hear that? Is that why my fish died? Did he jump the high road to his own No Anxiety Zone. Did he mistakenly jump to high in a burst of joy. We will perhaps never know. Does it matter. I suppose not. Regardless, he is gone. His memory exists and for now his seashell rests at the deep end of his still clean water well with the shiny glass rocks still reflecting his iridescent light.  I look over my shoulder and he is gone. I look strait away into my pond and he is there. Having always been, is now and forever more in the flowing water of life. I'm reminded of  a group I used to know. They called themselves "Fish out of water!" I'm remembering that wasn't such a bad place to be.  Rest is peace Frische'. Rest in peace.

Logging

 May. Spring. The air is vibrating to a new rhythm. Oh yeah it is. I can feel it in the substance. The quality has shifted. The content is different. It's not any thicker or denser than in past war torn times  but presently, and by that I mean today, it is heavy. That word keeps popping up in my world. Shifted. It's an important word to recognize. Hang on to the wonderment of why.
 I would like to share my experience with logging. Does everyone know what that is? The logging that has nothing to do with trees or computers.  Those of you whom are not on a vibrant intimate shoreline may not be aware of the magnitude such a sanctuary endures or that one even exists.  However, with the events of every present day, nature is letting you in on the secret in a HUGE way. Some of you are being forced to feel it.
To wake up up in the spring is naturally what we humans do. In Springtime awareness is anew. Nature calls  out to us to hear the message. Did you ever wonder what the birds are saying when they tweet? Did you ever wonder why they sing caged or otherwise. Sometimes  it seems as tho the birds, all animals for that matter, are speaking right to us. Guess what...they are! Ohhh...The wonderment of why!
Recently, this spring, I was invited on a boat ride. Not just any boat ride but a boat ride with a beautiful bride. Her name is Rose. She's my "friend". Okay so we never hung outside of class but she is  a really cool lady and if we would have been in the same place together, long enough, we would be hangout friends. She lives on the northeast coast. I live on the southwest. We seem to meet on Maui. She has that nice quality about her. She makes me laugh like only a mother with four kids can do! We both have four kids. She gets me. Anyway...there is a word called serendipity. I love that word. You see it all over the place. I do anyway but that's because I like to look for words. I like to look for really fun words.  Serendipity is a fun word. Does everyone know what it means? Serendipity! Look it up. Serendipity pulled us together. My daughter got married on a boat. A very big boat. Now I know Maui doesn't normally have really big boats like the one Amber was married on so I was excited to experience a wedding from this harbor.  My date & I arrived early and excited. My date is my boyfriend of over 7 years whom was extra excited because the reason we were at this pier on this day was because of his newfound friend! Rod had met Dave at the whale sanctuary.  Rod works at this whale sanctuary and David is a helper there. A volunteer. When Dave invited Rod to his wedding we all found out we were already friends. Cool, I thought. Serendipity at work!  
This whale sanctuary is a really big, and by big I mean a really really  big, wet, wild and wonderful waterway.  Sea creatures of all kinds meet up here. It is especially important to the humpback whale. A lot of people help to care for this precious waterway. And by a lot of people I mean a really really really really really lot of people help the ocean. 
On this particular evening I was hopefully optimistic that we would see  a whale.  It was now early spring and the whales gleefully leave this southern sea right about now and travel the long arduous albeit adventurous path to their other home all the way up to Alaska.  Many dangers lurk along the way. Serious dangers. This certainly was not my first boat ride where the possibility of seeing whales exists, on the contrary. I have seen whales. However, it was now late into the season for viewing these gentle giants and although our primary purpose on this boat was to see Dave and Rosie get married I wanted everyone who wanted to experience what it was like to see this amazing creature up close to have the opportunity to do so.  I was hopeful. We gathered, this optimistic group that pleasantly consisted of  just family and a couple close friends. The green catamaran was unpretentious and sweeet and I imagined all the spots were the bride and groom might marry.  The gracious crew set sail on a particularly calm and serene evening. The setting was just right.
As we headed for open water the energy on board was giddy and alive. I was so genuinly happy for the bride and groom.. Rosie looked fabulous.  She sported  a new do since I had seen her last. A very short style with sprigs of gray.  I rocked that look once. She carried it off way better than I did. She glowed. Dave, whom I was just meeting for the first, put me at ease strait away. His opening remarks warmed my heart. I felt the presence of his faithfully departed wife hovering over him and I wanted to tell him she loved him more that day than ever before...I got it. She wanted him to live. I wanted him to know. So I let his heart feel what mine felt. I hope it did. I never asked. 
 I knew the light about her was guiding her out out of and into something more than just this harbor but I knew not what. I knew that the extra light she gleaned was due from the calmness and the gentleness of the event she co create with the God of her understanding.  The daughters & guests, both hers and his were witness to simple strong vows said in faith. Is that an oxymoran?(look it up)I thought to myself, "Self, is any strong vow ever simple!!!!! "Her extra extra light was for a first grandchild's  love. Her grandson sat on her lap.  Her extra extra extra really extra light about her was for all the loved ones not present for there were many not present. Or were they? Her light and His light together stayed the course and that light was now prepared to merge the two forms in the presence of all of us. What better place to embark on the journey of a lifetime, or whats left of a lifetime, than in a sanctuary of calm and blessed water.  And by blessed I mean really really really really blessed waters. On this rarely windless & warm night no picture my camera  took could capture the full entire scene. A master word  smith would be hard pressed to share an adjetive or verb that fit this night.
 It wasn't just me. Other comments on the peace & calm upon us were expressed.  Hmmm.   Just ahead to the left a pod of whales was sighted.  This was the largest and most competitively aggressive  pod I have been lucky enough to witness thus far. We watched the whales. We listened to the whales sing. We heard their song. Perhaps thats what brought the profound presence of peace upon us. Hmmm. They perused past us in full view.  I happen to know that if you see a large group of humpback whales connected on the surface of the water there are usually just as many if not more connecting under the surface. Now my eyes and stomach and ears understood their power like never before. We were close.  Serendipitously close. Of course the engines had been safely cut by now. All the Hawaiin islands watch over their whale and encourage others to do the same. They where here first. Nature has it's own way of commanding respect and integrity. We floated. Within the intermittent patches of silence and stillness  surrounding this seemingly very small green vessle, we collectively sat in awe of the respect and integrity nature commands.  I personally yielded to the awe of that which is beyond my understanding. As night fell upon us and the vibrancy of the full moon lead us back to shore the winds of change caressed  our back over ever swell. Change was in the air.  Off in the distance the harbor lights beckoned our boat with perfect timing.  I knew our journey was near its end. I was not glad or sad. Just content. And not just content but real content...The kind of content  only felt in nature where two or more species are gathered. When two  different worlds connect. The sky was dark now, the sea darker.  With every swell we glided over I heard our ancestors chant and with each swell we glided over I was reminded that all is well. All is well. All is well... And that's when I spotted it! 
A whale logging. I had never ever seen this before! I'd read about it. I knew that this is how whales sleep. They quiet one side of there brain at a time. Then they float like a log on water to rest. This one glided by in such stealth style it tricked me at first. I wasn't sure what I saw. The profound size is what struck me the most. Side by side we slowly and with purpose passed in the night. My second thought was how lucky we both were for not colliding into each other. A slight panic came over me at the sheer consequence of what could have been...but no worry..this whale knew what it was doing. I don't know if the others heard what that whale said to them but I heard what that whale said to me! "Please, oh please. Make it well. Please help make this ocean be well. Goodnight my friend who's come to visit... Shift well." And with that he graciously passed beyond our site. I vowed to try.  So in my own way...I try. So to my friend out there in the sea..."Goodnight my friend. I'll try to shift well..."

Aloha & Mahalo Too!

Welcome and Thank You! I'm home again...I returned one week and one and a quarter days ago. I'm pretty good at this gig of going back and forth. Usually. There are so many things I LOVE about Maui but this one stands out at the moment;  how very grateful I am for how high this land elevates me. I come home revived & alive.  Awake and Alive. Yes, Alive.  I understand a new depth of "Home is where the Heart is". My heart has merged in duality and beyond. Lucky me. I wonder if you can hear me through the words? The heart sings with no need of word. My song is for Maui and every other place I have had the pleasure to lay my head and rest.  I have rested well.  My song is more of a chant really. The rhythmic pulse of a jungle beat sets the stage for the local native dance and I stand ready to join in. The pulsating surge of flying onto a fierce & frantic freeway sets the stage for the local native dance and I sit ready to join in. Even though I prepare well with my awe inspiring nature scenes  etched into my mind this cement jungle shows me it's own beauty and again I am in awe.  Dare I say this is my main land now? The first time I ever landed at Kahalui's open airport I was greeted by my very own parents I pleasantly remember.   The exotic air pulled me off the jetway like Wimpy to his burger, or like Janet's moth to the flame. Lou & Lois welcomed me with much the same delight, I felt, as they did 40 years prior at Christ Hospital in Chicago on the spring morning of March 19th 4:20am. Their smiles and excitement were exuberant, contagious and familar. I was home.  Their happy faces are etched into my mind too forever... They showed me Maui and I fell in love. I felt love. It's been 15 years of crossing back and forth. In the good times, the fun times, the bad times, the happy & exciting times, the weak times, the horrible times, the scary times, the rich & the poor times Maui has lifted me like no other place but my child's bedside. 
Again, I came back with no tattoo. I have a simple one in mind- a vertical row of  cursive L's for Linda and Louie and Lois, my family that has moved on. For me the L's are many and they represent  what my family stands for and  what I stand for:
LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE   'til if and when I get my own one, I just focus on my son in law's tattoo. The one that says "knowing is half the battle". That saying keeps revealing itself in monumental ways to me so I'll stick with that one for now. Some say the "pot of gold" resides at the end of the rainbow. For me it lies under the rainbow, the double rainbow that arches above me as I float from shore to shore. In both body and spirit. Aloha & Mahola Too!

Aloha & Mahalo

I'm home again....and I have pages to write on the topic. I'll pick it up again in another moment. Today, however, I am observing a moment in time & honoring it...A moment with my mom, my kids granny, my hero, my heart...my mom.
Lois M Bishop Pager... Nov 2 1929  May 12 2008
Funny Mom, You taught me, most of all I suppose, to seek the humor. I'm not as funny as you mom. I wish I could back it all up & take notes. Write it down. I didn't get it all down. I'm not as funny as you. Still, because of you, I seek the humor. Thank you for that. This week is, has been & will always be a hard one for me. It's the ultimate bittersweet pill to swallow. You there. Me here. Preceding it, during it, after it...it lingers. So I thank God & you again for the humor. All around I see signs from you. From all of you. I follow. Usually with a grin. The headline screams "Mama Drama". I'm so glad that wasn't us. We were a comedy. Sometimes a  comedy of errors. A real JOY nonetheless. I miss you mom. Daily & dearly. Hugs

Red Mountain Resort

     It feels so good to be home. Home. Where I put my feet up and rest after perhaps some of the best days of my year. Do I start to share about how marvelous & necessary it is for me to climb into my own bed. Or do I start with how wonderful & necessary it was to climb into theirs?  The Red Mountain Resort absorbed me. It was in the deepest richest earth the southwest states provide that I met up with cousins from all across the country to gather. You should go. You should gather. Everyone should. It's a bit pricey but worth every penny. I mean, you are pampering yourself! The Great Medicine Wheel does revolve around the "self" don't ya know. The self is from where all else flows, right? Yeah. It's okay to be self absorbed to a healthy degree. It's okay. Sometimes it's even necessary. The rusty red sandy beaches appear and they are real. Not a mirage. The ponds but a puddle this time of year I'm told. The red rock mountains is where my body became alive again. Five day spa intensives are new to me. My battered body reprieved and an energy came about that swept me along the best gal pal week ever.
     My mind sometimes stalls. It just stalls. Stops. Stop period. Blank. And damn it-it was an important link to what I meant to say. Oftentimes thoughts come back. Oftentimes again, my body would rake with a heaviness so severe my opposite hand was needed to lift me from my powerful pain. The arthritis flares in my thumb. The same thumb that my cousin Joanne feels it.  Maybe the energy in them there hills will revive us further still as we take out into our world the things we experienced. Our own personal healing session. I hope. A girl can hope. From our first giddy glance across the baggage claim, I saw her walking toward me waving & coming my way. My cousin on my moms side whom I adored growing up with her dark hair and happy smile, youthful eyes. I spotted her and felt so connected. Instantly...I did for the entire time & it just kept on getting better because 2 minutes later after a big hug and a big smile I met my next cousin. About 8 minutes later we met up with another cousin and then a few minutes later, wait for it......we met up with two other cousins! The farmer, the chemist, the admirals wife. The trainer, the CEO all here with me at the Las Vegas baggage claim. Las Vegas, Nevada is a busy locale with many drivers holding names.  Leeza Gibbons. As if... Florida, California, Wisconsin, Indiana and Virginia Beach & more... Vegas Baby...but we headed to the Whole Foods, bought ourselves some excellent healthy food and off for the two and half hour scenic drive to St. Geaorge, Utah that was just a delight. Yes. That's what it was and that's what I felt. Delight. I am delighted. The key to a good life is to not turning on the TV. Delightful! Our stint began. We began with enthusiastic energy for renewed vitality to rest down our minds and strenghten our bodies. We began to unwind and explore externally, internally and we concluded the stay with a reverence for sending out, through our cleansed and renewed breathe, into the dimensions, prayer to our ancestors beyond. Prayers for ' all that is and can be' as our fire circle and the labyrinth circle echoed around this massive glowing full moon which lit up earth over this vast desert on this most rare  & superbly unusual evening of perspective of our earths' pull.  Yeah, turn off the TV. There is a life we are supposed to be living outside, truly outside of the square box we know. Individually, collectively...I don't have to tell you that. When silence prevails and nature is near and you hike thru it, it penetrates all that is. How feeble a magnetized TV screen when all that truly matters is in nature. It penetrates deep. I did not know that . It can vibrate. It does vibrate. Nature vibrates. I did not know that sans the wind and an occasional earthquake. This is where you will find peace. This is where I found peace. In nature. As I really reflect...perhaps this wasn't just some of the best days of my year but of my life. In nature, in peace with loved ones. Yeah, this is why I fought to live. Thank you.

"Blogging! What's blogging?"

I can't exactly remember the day or month I first heard this query leave my mouth. It was within this past year and a half though. I can tell you that. From the moment my daughter's email arrived sharing the "link" to her blog about her boys I was hooked. "What? I can just click and go there and read about all of you? See pictures of you? Watch videos of you?" I have enjoyed, no adored that privilege ever since and for many months now until it occurred to me...Aah, I can do that. Yeah. I could. It would be great to just sit down and write and not have one hundred and seventy four rough drafts of the same thing! I can write to completion. I can edit. I can rewrite it, I can reread...and I can do this. I nary said another word and Amber had it done! "I can make a blog for you, Mom! Think of a name and a backup name or two." and before ya know it...VIOLA! A blog. I have a blog. I blog. Want to follow my blog? It feels good. It feels right! Yeah! I can do this. So Thank You Amber for setting this up with the greatest of ease and prompting me through this first experience. It has been a joy. Because "the pen is mightier than the sword" has always been a nice mantra for me, I have clung so tightly to the actual pen preferring my own particular brand on any kind of paper that can be found...the keys, in their own way flow just as well. The rhythm may have to be worked about a bit but...alas...let the metaphor's begin!